3.29.2010

God Everlasting

Have you ever wanted something so bad your willing to do anything for it? That is the way I feel about God. I struggle with 'faith' the hardest in my life. Faith is knowing that being is out there, but you can't see them, feel them, hear them, yet you have to trust in them. That for me is my definition of faith.

I find it easy and yet difficult to understand why more people in this world do not have faith. Easy because it is such a complex subject. In church we are taught God is love and yet God is also justice. He will have the last say whether you like it or not, but he does it BECAUSE he is love. Just like parents discipline their children, they do it out of love. It is such a difficult concept to understand for most and that is why I believe there is a lack of faith in our society. How can a God that is said to be so loving allow the world to suffer? If you want a more intellectual answer I beg you to go listen to what Pastor Jonathan has to say about it here. I think it will be pretty obvious which link to click on.
Here is my answer, I believe God allows suffering in our world because we as humans are stubborn. Honestly it's true. I am an incredibly stubborn person, once my mind is set there is no turning back. We must see the good that CAN come out of suffering before believing in why God would allow such a thing. If we look at every natural disaster as a disaster the only thing we can do is cry. But, if we turn around and look at it as an opportunity to rebuild something stronger, we rejoice. When a natural disaster occurs people of all nations come together to help rebuild the community/country effected. We work together like the people God created us to be. White, black, yellow, whatever, we were created to be united as one.

God allows suffering for the greater good. I've been thinking a lot about getting a tattoo, I just couldn't decided on what I wanted. I originally planned on getting a trinity symbol to signify God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but I kept changing my mind. Until just recently I stumbled upon el-olam this. El-Olam is how it's said in Hebrew. I think this would be the best symbol to represent Christ on my body. God is everlasting in all he does and I feel if we stick with Him through all of His plans for us, we will have the greatest gift of all in the end.
-ana
Luke 1:37

3.22.2010

Intense Emotional Rollercoaster

I love kids. End of story.
I cannot wait to have kids with my husband, but that is not what this post is about actually. I stumbled across Angie Smith's blog and read her story from her very first entry to the most recent one (I skipped a FEW posts, but not many)! All I can say is, 'WOW.'  I would encourage all readers to read this, whether you have a child or not. Her story is the most profound and heart wrenching story I have ever read.
Her example on how to deal with losing the life of a child you know is going to die anyway, is incredibly beautiful. To know your child is going to die either inside the womb or outside of it, within moments of birth. I don't know how I would handle the situation. I don't think I would be able to handle it nearly as well as she did. She leaned on God for hope, for mercy and for a miracle. God gave her and Todd a miracle, it just wasn't the type of miracle they had hoped for. If you have a moment or 30min to be exact, please, PLEASE watch this video. It portrays their emotions in such a way, you have no choice but to praise God and question Him at the same time.
Learning to cherish life is so important. Live your life to honor God, to praise His name. Live your life to show others around you how happy you are at the mention of His name. Live your life with no regrets.
I have always said, "If you regret a moment or an experience in your life, you regret what that experience has made you today." I live my life with no regrets. I don't regret my mistakes, I am grateful for the person I have turned into today. I am grateful for what I stand for and WHO I stand for.
Lord, I am forever yours.
-ana

3.21.2010

Dear Annonymous.

This is a polite letter to whoever you are and WHY you feel the need to post such negativity on my blog. First off, whether you like my blog OR not, it is MY opinion and while people have their opinions, they also have the freedom of speech. Therefore, I am using my freedom in my own way. You may not like it, but others do.
Secondly, everyone makes mistakes. Including grammar mistakes, not everyone is perfect. So unless your major is/was English, I don't appreciate the English lesson.
Thirdly, if you could please refrain from posting negative comments on my blog, I will refrain from deleting them. I am trying my hardest to think happy thoughts and not dwell in the negative aspects of life or of my current situation. My goal is to make it through my husbands deployment with the best attitude I could possibly have.
Lastly, as for my coffee post, you may have not liked it, but all of my coworkers appreciated my honesty. I still stand by my opinion that I am frustrated with the fact that people are asking for extremely specific drinks in a failing economy and while others are devastated from natural disasters. I for one, do not like to buy coffee outside of work (it's free on days I work) because I don't want to pay for it.
Thank you.
-ana

3.17.2010

Story Time

A very major thing in my life right now is getting to know a lot of different people I wasn't able to know before I left in August. Then again, with the wedding, work and school, there really was no time for friends! I'm sorry for the neglect to all my awesome friends this past summer leading up to the wedding. I promise it was DEFINITELY not you, all me. :D
Anyway, being able to get to know everyone has made me appreciate everyone's unique life store. Now, I haven't gotten to know all of their life story, but some very important stories, with valuable life lessons attached to them. The point of this blog is to write something unique and special about yourself you would want me to know. Remember this is a public blog and people can definitely see it. (For those that do not have a blogspot.com account, when you write it as anonymous don't forget to write your first name or initials in your comment, that way I at least know who it is.)
I don't know what I want to do with everyone's unique tidbit about them self yet, but I will figure something out in my brain. I am constantly thinking about everything! Just ask my husband, I don't relax well at all!
Well I figured I'd start off with something to kick this off.
I have had three name changes in my life. My initials have been A.M.A to A.M.N to A.M.O.. I pretty much moved down the alphabet. :D I was born in Bucharest, Romania under communist reign. My birth name was supposed to be Evelyn (according to my mom), but it wasn't a 'Romanian communist approved name.' Therefore my mother chose Ana Mihaela, after my God Mother Ani (pronounce Annie). I can speak, read and write in three languages right now, Romanian, English and French. AND my ultimate goal in life is to visit all seven continents, including Antarctica!
There you go! Now what about YOU?
-ana

3.16.2010

Touche

Thinking positive lately has definitely helped me a lot. I find myself smiling more and appreciating even the simple things. Such as today, it was slightly raining, but extremely windy. I appreciated the wind today, it is definitely powerful and strong and can do so much damage, but it is also beautiful. You can't see the wind, you can't touch it, but you can feel the wind blowing against you. You can see it's beauty and destruction all in once. I appreciated the wind today because it made a normal day, abnormal. It was something different in the normally gray weather up here.
I got the chance to spend some time today with a coworker that I just met after moving back up here. She hasn't had the easiest life, but what was so encouraging to me was she has taken her life and turned it into something completely positive and has learned from it. Her home life hasn't always been great, but she has learned from others mistakes and knows she doesn't want to go down that route. She wants to make something of herself and be successful. The saying, "When life gives you lemons.." came up quite a bit today. My saying was, "When life gives you lemons, make tea." In other words turn it into something completely different and good for you. Hers was, "When life gives you lemons, make a lemon drop martini!" I think I like her idea a little better. Making something absolutely sweet and delicious from a product that was sour before, is great! Like taking a rough situation and making the best of it.
We should all strive to be our best all the time. Not to judge others, because we don't know what their situation is either. I am trying to be a better person and think more positive all the time. That is my ultimate goal and it is definitely helping me with Josh being gone. I feel like I appreciate the little things so much more.
Like it's said in Hebrew,
JEHOVAH-SHALOM:      "The Lord Our Peace"

-ana

3.13.2010

Happy Birthday Josh!

What kind of wife/blogger would I be if I didn't blog about my wonderful husband Josh's birthday?!
Happy 22nd birthday Josh! I love you so much! I know it's hard and I am sorry it's not the way you want to spend your birthday. I promise to make it special when we both get back to Las Vegas.
Josh is the best man I have ever known. He is patient with me, makes me happy and always knows how to support me in the right ways. I am so glad he is my husband and to have found him in life. I don't know where I would be without him. Thank you for being there babe! You are the best!

I'm glad your coworkers got to sing and have a cake for you. I hope that made you feel somewhat special without being home. Can't wait to be in your arms again. My favorite place ever.
I love you incredibly,
-ana

3.08.2010

Positivity

I think I have finally figured something to give up for lent. It's not easy at all and this year (for the first time since...ever) it's not coffee! I am going to try and give up negativity out of my life. I've already started by deleting the people off of my facebook that don't really have very many nice things to say. The second step is to start thinking more positive. Now I try to have a positive attitude as often as I can, but sometimes life really does get in the way.
It's so hard to try and do something that should seem as easy as being constantly positive in the society we live in today. For goodness sake, look at the economy, the fact we are at war and in a recession. I also work in an environment where honestly, the simplest mistake sets people off as if you are the worst person on earth! It's hard not to be judgmental of people when they aren't very nice back or understanding.
I need everyone's help with this, therefor I am recruiting everyone that has read this. If I seem down, have a negative status, or am judging people I don't know, let me know. Encourage me. Help me keep a smile on my face.
:) Thank you everyone! I love you all.
-ana

3.04.2010

Struggling



So as most of you know I recently got a puppy. His name is Nizmo (Pronounced N-EE-Z-MO). For those of you that don't know, Josh's car is a Nissan 350Z. There is Nismo edition of his car, hence the name. We also liked it spelled better with a 'Z' than an 'S'. Anyway, so our puppy is a Puggle, that is a Pug/Beagle mix. He is super active and I am just in love with him. I love him to death! Housebreaking him is currently working 7 out of 10 times. But that's ok, got to forgive puppies sometimes.

So, the main reason I am introducing our addition to the family on my blog is first off, so everyone knows what I am referring to when I say his name. Secondly, to explain why I got him, besides the fact that I absolutely love dogs and REALLY needed a distraction while Josh is deployed. Lately, (pre-Nizmo) babies had the drooling effect on me, every time I saw one. Now I know we JUST got married and that most of you are thinking I am crazy (it's true, I am). I don't know what it was about children in the past few months, I just had a HUGE desire to have one and be a mother. Well, let me tell you having a puppy definitely put THAT desire away. I always knew it would be tough having a child, but hello reality check, can't exactly leave a child caged up for four hours at a time! No worries, no plans for children in the NEAR future, just enjoying being a mommy to my puppy. :) But there is the short story on some of the reasons I got a puppy.
-ana
P.S. Yes he is quite the mischievous one, he loves getting into ANYTHING, just look at the picture! 

3.01.2010

All Smiles

So just the other day my mother told me she was incredibly proud of me. It was almost a shock to hear that from her. Not that I've never heard it from her, but let me just explain. My mother is the type of person that needs to warm up to people in general. Just like she warms up to people she warms up to decisions. Well in the past three years, it's taken a lot out of her to warm up to my decisions. In high school I got accepted to San Francisco Art  Institute, but I decided to do the community college route and not go to San Fran. I really didn't feel like walking away from a four year college $200,000 dollars in debt! So I backed out as soon as I saw the price tag. She was shocked I did that at the time, since it was basically a dream to go there, but she explained to me the other day she was quite happy I did.
Now, she also told me she was especially proud of me with choosing Josh as my husband, she really couldn't have had a better man given to me by God in her opinion. She also admitted to me she would never be able to live apart from my father like I am living apart from Josh and she said I was one of the strongest women she knew, with how I was handling the whole situation.
Hearing these words come out of my mother's mouth really made me feel happy about the way my life has unfolded so far. It is so nice to hear that reassurance from someone else. Especially from a parent. I know all of us secretly wish our parents to be happy with the way our lives have turned out, even if we don't all admit it. Hearing this from her has definitely given me a 'boost' in a way. It turned my day right back up and definitely put a smile on my face. It's reassurance like this that helps me get through being without Josh. I really don't know what secret I have, or how I make it through this right now. I know I have just turned my attitude into the, 'just do it' attitude. I mean, I don't have any other options, I just DO it. I get through my days, with a smile or a mild break down and God picks me right back up in the morning. Josh helps me in so many ways, but when there is that time when we can't talk to each other, it's definitely all God.
Isaiah 40:28-31
28 Do you not know?
       Have you not heard?
       The LORD is the everlasting God,
       the Creator of the ends of the earth.
       He will not grow tired or weary,
       and his understanding no one can fathom.
 29 He gives strength to the weary
       and increases the power of the weak.
 30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
       and young men stumble and fall;
 31 but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.
 Thank you Lord for the strength you give me to keep going each day. Even when I want to give up, you keep tugging at my heart to move forward. Thank you Lord for the love you fill my heart up with when it's empty. Thank you for the joy you give me from the people around me. Thank you for putting such wonderful, uplifting, happy people in my life everywhere I turn. 
-ana