4.24.2010

Love Languages

So I was recently asked how Josh and I make our marriage work. As I have said before communication is the most important one, but here are a few rules we try to follow all the time;
1)When we are talking on the phone, texting or skype, we get everything out on the table and deal with it right then. 
2)We try our hardest not to go to bed angry at each other or ignore a problem. We have both found it makes it 10X worse if we go to bed mad at each other. 
3)We respect each other and love each other accordingly. Respect is huge in our relationship, we try to be respectful of each others feelings with out saying something that could really hurt the other person. Josh was raised on respect and honestly respect for him, comes before love. I say I respect Josh, rather than love and most times it means a lot more to him than saying, 'I love you.' He knows he is already loved, but he really wants respect. We both read the book, "Love and Respect" before we got married and it has already impacted our marriage a lot.

I am currently reading, "Five Love Languages," right now and it has already got me thinking about other ways I could use to improve my attitude towards Josh. It takes about how each of us has a certain 'Love Language' and we are all different. There is the language of affirmation, gifts, quality time, acts of service and physical touch. When do you feel most loved? For me it's a cross between gifts and acts of service. I feel especially loved when I receive a gift, it shows that you thought of me that day. Or when I am pleasantly surprised to have my husband pick up that chore I've been meaning to do. I don't know which one I am quite yet, but I know I will find out.

So lots of love, respect and a whole lot of other mumbo-jumbo into the mix and so far, I'd say we have a pretty successful marriage. Now ask me this in 10 years to see what's changed and what has worked for us.

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